Believe in total honesty? There are times when it can be more complicated than you can imagine. Explore my...
Contrasts
In Honesty
Brief background: I (the writer) became a widower after a twenty-year marriage. My late wife died unexpectedly of an aortic aneurysm. About a year later, my only sibling passed away from colon cancer. Six months later, through my misery, I understood how short and precious life was. I still had love to offer, and I needed some happiness. I was not interested in any crazy dating scene, so I decided to join eHarmony. The use of this website is also where my story begins.
Through instant messaging, I began corresponding with a nice woman named Diane, who had two young kids. I soon found that we had quite a lot in common. After a few days of phone calls, she understood that our relationship was progressing positively, so she confessed to me. She was on dialysis and was dealing with some severe health risks. Diane seemed to understand when I told her that I honestly could not continue with our relationship because of my wife’s passing. I would be an emotional wreck (not to mention my kids) if anything ever happened. Diane appreciated my honesty, just as I appreciated hers. We sadly said our goodbyes, knowing that we would no longer contact each other.
Late in November, I met Rosanne on-line. After some enjoyable instant messaging and a few phone calls, we talked about dating. She invited me to a yoga session at an institute located near Union Square in Manhattan.
Through instant messaging, I began corresponding with a nice woman named Diane, who had two young kids. I soon found that we had quite a lot in common. After a few days of phone calls, she understood that our relationship was progressing positively, so she confessed to me. She was on dialysis and was dealing with some severe health risks. Diane seemed to understand when I told her that I honestly could not continue with our relationship because of my wife’s passing. I would be an emotional wreck (not to mention my kids) if anything ever happened. Diane appreciated my honesty, just as I appreciated hers. We sadly said our goodbyes, knowing that we would no longer contact each other.
Late in November, I met Rosanne on-line. After some enjoyable instant messaging and a few phone calls, we talked about dating. She invited me to a yoga session at an institute located near Union Square in Manhattan.
It was fun not only because I had never done that type of thing before, but since I’d finally meet her, I was willing to give it a try. Afterward, I invited her to a late lunch in the neighborhood. As we waited for our order, she presented me with a gift of wrapped science fiction books. The romance of the moment touched me. I had only mentioned this interest to her once, but she remembered and had acted on it.
She spoke of her many hopes for the future and mentioned that she enjoyed eHarmony because she believed in leaving her options open. We finished the evening by seeing the movie Ray, and I drove her to her complex in Brooklyn, sealing the night with a kiss on her cheek. Next weekend, we went to the medieval surroundings of The Cloister’s museum. On our third date, we spent the evening at the Brooklyn Museum, where we playfully danced across their ballroom type exhibition area to various concertos.
During our relationship, Rosanne and I spoke on the phone almost every night, but as time progressed, I felt she was becoming more distant. After a few weeks of knowing each other, every time I brought up the conversation of intimacy, it kept getting sidetracked. I figured a few weeks weren’t very long, so I did my best to be a gentleman. Whenever we went on a date, I would pick her up around her apartment complex, but I never knew her address. This exclusion seemed strange, but I understood how a single woman living in Brooklyn would want to be careful.
About two weeks before Christmas, I decided to be frank with her. On the phone, I mentioned how long it had been since I had been intimate (since my late wife had passed). Rosanne seemed comfortable with the conversation, so I asked her how long had it been since she was with someone. Very casually, she answered, “About two weeks ago.” I stopped dead in my tracks. We had been going out for almost two months, spoke nearly every night. She had sex two weeks ago? When I questioned her on this, she said, “I’m also seeing someone else. I told you before that I believe in leaving my options open.” The conversation soon came to a close, and we said our goodbyes. Merry Christmas.
White Lies
The two stories reflect the owner’s perspective of honesty. Diane felt I should know the crucial factors in her life, so I could make a sound decision on how to proceed. On the other hand, Rosanne never felt that she lied to me; she simply did not mention that she was seeing someone else. We take for granted that we all carry the same meaning when we say the word honesty. Encarta World Dictionary defines honesty as the quality of condition, or characteristic of being fair, just, truthful, and morally upright. I’m sure you also have your personal view of the word honesty. Let’s all try not to hurt others by being too honest.
